Fly By Thursday, Fly byyyy.

Today is FLYING! I am excited about this because then I am closer to move day tomorrow. C is going to leave her parent’s SUV we are borrowing at the house and ride into work with her co-worker. So when I get off work today, the packing of the SUV begins. I’m going to get as much in there as possible, a game of Tetris if you will. Our plan is to pack all the boxes and small stuff and get that done Friday before the movers come on Saturday morning. I know none of this is important to you all reading this, but I’m just really excited!

So I’ve talked a lot about C..but never given you the full back story of us. C and I began talking through face book in January of 2013. I found her on a local lesbian group and immediately began face book stalking her pictures etc. I was pretty confident back then and decided to just message her and start talking to her. We had two days where we talked on the phone for 3-4 hours at a time before we could meet due to our work schedules. At the time she was working overnight pediatric home health. I was still working retail management. I had been out of a relationship at this point for about 8-9 months which was actually a long period for me compared to the past. I had come out of a relationship with an alcoholic who was not only a cheater, but lied and eventually popped me right in the face one night. I was done after that but she wouldn’t leave our apartment when we split in August. She did not officially leave until November. I had no choice in this because we were both on the lease. ANYWAY. 

So C and I finally met on January 21st, 2013. We just couldn’t wait any longer so she came over when she got off work at about 7:30 in the morning. I was in pajamas, we laid in bed and talked till about noon and then both cuddled up and went to sleep for a few hours. It was SO easy, and SO comfortable. By January 28th, 2013 we made it official. By February 28th, 2013 we moved in together in  our first apartment. It was tiny, it was originally meant to be JUST hers so it was rather small. We definitely did the stereo typical  “U-hauling” , but I feel like at my age I knew it was right and sometimes you just know. SO then on January 30th, 2014 she proposed. It was simple, just like she knew I would like. I love the movie UP, so her proposal included lots of colorful balloons…which she attached little cards to with lyrics from some of our favorite songs. She proposed to me on a rainy day in our third apartment together, in our living room. She bawled, I was in shock. She’s definitely just as sensitive as me, but sometimes a bit more…one of the MANY things I love about her.

So here we are…three years later. We haven’t set a date for a wedding because I am terrified to walk down an aisle with people staring at me. My anxiety is holding off a lot in my life, but mostly I am sad that it will push my wedding back. I know she’s the one I want to spend my life with, my anxiety just has other plans sometimes. I can honestly say we perfectly compliment  each other. We’ve made it further than some people might of guessed in the beginning, minus those who truly knew us BOTH well mutually. I don’t know how I never met her before as my friends H & S, that I have known for ten years, had known her as well for a few years. I guess the timing just wasn’t right yet for us. But I’m glad we met when we did and have spent the last three years loving each other and supporting each other.

She is the first partner I have had that helps financially, understands and loves unconditionally and truly HAS my back. I’ve spent a lot of time on the wrong people and ignoring red flags. It has been truly wonderful being with her and being apart of her life and she is really my best friend, my person. Sometimes it can be very scary putting that much trust in someone, especially for someone like me with “abandonment issues”. Somedays I wonder what keeps her with me, if I truly just make her that happy and if it will ever one day not be enough and she would leave. But I like to think our love is like gobstoppers, that never ending kind of love!  Anyway…until next time!

I will try to post some pictures once I get the new place decorated. I LOVE unpacking so I assume I will be done hanging decor and unpacking by Saturday night.

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