Nancy, you’re not normal.

I had a rough day yesterday. All morning was fine, work day went fine. I just had a burst of emotion at the end of the evening about a few things. I called to talk to C at work and just started crying, which in turn made her sad. Every year on my birthday I get kind of down, not because I am vain or because I’m spoiled. My dad forgets my birthday every year, we’ve never been super close and I know he just doesn’t pay attention to those kinds of events. But regardless, it still hurts. Last year I found my half sisters on face book. I knew about them my whole life but never got to meet them until last year. They both live in Georgia, and I live in Texas. The road trip was about 16 ish hours, but so worth meeting them. The reason I am telling you this is that the younger of the two sisters has the same birthday as me. What are the odds really? So it makes me even more mad now that not only does he have one child with my birthday, but two of us with the same birthday yet he still forgets. So every year I want my birthday to be a big deal. The last two years really haven’t been all that great, and with losing so many friends in our old city…it just feels blah. So we decided this year we would go to OKC for my birthday, it’s a couple hours drive and that way I can do something totally different in a new city.

C’s first response was she didn’t know if we would have the money to go. I normally handle our finances and pay bills, etc. But I know that I would give up certain luxuries or find a way to get the money for us to go if situation were reversed. She didn’t mean to hurt my feelings nor did she even know she had. She said she’s already been planning stuff for our trip so I felt a lot better after hearing that. But let’s be honest, C has her work cut out for her. My social anxiety is not normal. I don’t like big surprises, I don’t like being the center of attention and I definitely hate the stereotypical “have the waiters sing to me in a resturant on my birthday” type of deal. SO….it can’t be a full surprise because I will need to know what’s going on to be prepared. I still want it to be a big deal. I’m turning 33 years old, it isn’t some monumental birthday or anything. No milestone birthday, but it’s MY birthday and I want to celebrate it.

Hope everyone has a great day, it’s HUMP dayyyyy. And I am so much closer to moving and still very excited for that. Until next time…

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2 thoughts on “Nancy, you’re not normal.

  1. I feel you so hard about the birthday blues, and the social anxiety. My Girlfriend had so many surprises planned for my 30th, and I ruined all of them because I have to know what I’m getting into before I do it. And I’m pretty sure the phrase “if you have the waiters sing to me I’m breaking up with you” came out of my mouth at LEAST a dozen times lol

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    1. My 30th was great! I knew everything that was going to happen though. So that may of been why. I’m turning 33 this time, so it’s not like a HUGE birthday but I want to just have fun and not over plan my OWN day.

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