Almost three years ago I turned 30 years old. I had a newly started relationship and a huge group of friends in a big city. My partner and I made a decision to move to a much smaller area, however I still live in a city of 105,000 people. I will turn 33 years old in March on the 19th, and I have a great job I love working for an attorney. I have an adorable but very needy pug named Bentley. She is our princess of course and is almost 3 years old. We also have a rat terrier Chihuahua mix named Buddy who is my absolute favorite thing on earth. He will be 10 soon and we hope he outlives us. So why am I here you ask?
Lately I’ve been looking back at my childhood years and the aspirations I had growing up of who I would be and what I would be doing by now. I don’t think I ever saw myself past 25 years old. It’s as if that was the oldest age I could imagine someone being. I do know that everything I always wanted to be remained typically the same throughout my childhood and teenage years. I still have the same goals, my motivation just never seemed to stay in tact to achieve those goals. I struggle with what I feel is severe anxiety, and the older I get the worse it seems to get. I am hoping that by blogging and pursuing things I feel passionate about that maybe I can help cure myself in a natural way.
I’ve always wanted to write, to be creative, to do something to make an impact on the world. I’ve lost more friends than I care to have lost in the move to our now home city. I moved from a bustling busy metroplex of hundreds of thousands of people, with a thriving gay community to a military and somewhat conservative city with a dark grungy side riddled with meth heads. I love any home I call my own with my partner, but I find myself longing for art, creativity, culture, fun places that don’t serve alcohol, and something to feed my mind. There is also a big college here, so you can imagine the social night life is a mixture of airmen and college kids which is not really fitting for someone who is about to be 33 and whose partner is about to be 38. I’m not complaining really. I’ve found myself a new career outside of retail management, which I hated. I found a partner who I am certain I will spend the rest of my living days with. We’ve achieved somewhat of a financially stable life, complete with two adorable dogs. I guess that makes us your typical lesbian couple. Or should I say “stereo-typical”.
I hope to use this blog to help me discover my interests, to find my passions, to pursue them and to journey through my anxiety troubles.